To Mom and Dad

To Mom and Dad

I love you both so much—more than I even realize. That love has always been there, buried deep in my heart, hidden beneath pain and struggle. When I first looked within, I caught a glimpse of it. But at the time, I was so wrapped up in my own struggle that I wasn’t strong enough to keep searching.

Two years later, I caught another glimpse. This time, the love felt like a wave crashing over me—overwhelming and undeniable.  In that moment, I saw not just my own wounds but yours—the pain you have carried for so long. And yet, I had spent my life demanding perfection from you, as if nothing you did was ever enough. The weight of that realization broke me, and I cried like a child, full of regret and sorrow.

I’ve often attributed my struggles with love to how I grew up. There were trauma and hurt from my childhood—wounds I still carry today. But what pains me more than my own scars are yours. I wish I could heal you completely. I wish I could show you a world full of love and kindness. I wish that everything you’ve long searched for—but have forgotten because of constant disappointments—could be found. I wish for so much.

So here I am, starting this blog for my own sake—to grow beyond my pain, to fill the emptiness I’ve carried, until one day, I can love you wholeheartedly. Until my love for you comes just naturally in every day, in every conversation, every text message, and every thought.

This first journal is dedicated to my parents and all my loved ones. This blog will be my journey—to seek truth, to step out of my shell, and to grow. I pray that the seed I plant today will sprout and, one day, bear fruit. That I may become the person I was meant to be—the person God created me to be.

Much love,

CJ